I remember it so vividly: I was in a teleconference on the back deck (I like to work there on Fridays) when Camille opened the door and stepped outside. She was on her cell phone talking with a nurse at the reproductive center.
“I’m pregnant!” she mouthed silently and very precisely.
My heart filled my chest with radiating warmth. I broke into a slight sweat. Endorphins rushed into my bloodstream, obviously spiking. But I had to keep my cool because I was on camera with 7 people watching. I had to suppress all instincts. I couldn’t jump for joy. I couldn’t grab Camille and give her the biggest heartfelt hug in years. I couldn’t release the tears of happiness from my eyes. I had to bury all of that and maintain some modicum of professionalism while realizing that my lifelong dream had just come true: I’m going to be a dad!
I powered through the rest of the Teams meeting barely keeping focused as the weight of the entire process started sinking in. The miscarriage in 2011… The 8 failed attempts… The shots… The procedures… The mental, physical, and financial stress of the last 12 years… The hypocrisy of putting up a false air of strength, faith, and persistence to mask the hard truth that I had actually given up a long time ago…
It was over. We succeeded against all odds, or at least it felt that way. What an intense, immense feeling…
-Bret McClellan
